I'm a Waiter and I Say It's Totally Fine to Order a Few Appetizers As Your Entree

I love ordering a lot of appetizers as my meal, but why do I feel judged when I do it at a non-tapas restaurant? When people go to a tapas restaurant, it’s generally understood that everyone will be sharing various small plates. The server will guide you on how many items should be ordered for the number of people at the table and off you go yelling out what you’d like the most. For me, a finicky eater who doesn’t particularly like to share food, ordering at a tapas restaurant is a circuitous process. Somebody suggests the mushroom and garlic dish along with an order of ceviche and everyone leaps at the opportunity and there I am, “Actually, I don’t like mushrooms or seafood that’s not fried.” 

The mood at the table deflates, but the dishes get added to the order anyway and I know I will be paying for a percentage of food I have no intention of eating. When I suggest Spanish meatballs and croquetas de jamón serrano, everyone eagerly agrees but I’m thinking, “No, those were just for me.” On and on it goes.

Very often, the appetizers and side dishes on the menu are the things I want the most. Give me an order of fried calamari, a side of mac and cheese and a Caesar salad and I’m good. At a tapas restaurant that would be 100% acceptable, but at practically every other restaurant, it seems weird. Nevermind that the server will question if that’s “all” I want. It doesn’t matter that my husband will say, “So, you’re not ordering an entree?” I like to order what I want to eat and if it’s a million and one appetizers, then so be it. Just because it’s called an appetizer doesn’t mean it has to be eaten before something else. 

Every once in a while when I order a slew of apps as my meal, the server seems confused. “I’ll have all of that as my entree,” I say. “So, you want the mozzarella sticks at the same time as his grilled salmon?” they confirm. “Yes, that’s right. I’m having apps for dinner.”

I can only imagine what would happen if I asked for dessert before my cheese sticks. The kitchen may grind to a halt trying to get two different sections of the line to coordinate a synchronized running of the food. I’ve been in that situation and it’s not as easy as it should be.

When I’m in a Mexican restaurant, I'm not going to order slow-braised pork shoulder with green bean escabeche or seared salmon fillet over creamy stewed zucchini with jalapeños, corn kernels and cilantro. No, I am going right to the appetizer section for some chicken flautas, queso fundido with chorizo, and a side of guacamole and chips. If I’m in a gastropub I’m having French onion soup, some crab cakes, and a shaved pear salad. Italian restaurant? I’ll happily order burrata, polpette, and arancini as long as it’s not a mushroom one. If it is, then I’ll have another order of any kind of cheese, please. 

The point is, we can order whatever we want to eat from a menu and the section it comes from means nothing. Appetizer, primi, secondi, hot starters, and cold starters are mere suggestions of when something should be eaten, not definitive direction. There is no culinary cardinal rule that dictates fried mozzarella must be eaten before something else of a more substantial matter. Why is a plate of three sliders meant to be an appetizer but one big hamburger has to be the main feature? Those sliders are just as delicious whether they’re called an app or called an entree.

We are well into the 21st century and haven’t we learned that labels do not matter? If you want to order a million little apps and call it dinner, you can do it. I do and I don't call them tapas.